Living with courage, confidence and consistency.

Since June is gay pride month, I thought I would take some time to share some of my writings on different aspects of the subject from a human perspective. So much of what is written about being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender presents the subject from the perspective that it’s ok to be gay and christian or gay and muslim. There hasn’t been much written that talks about how it’s just ok to be who you are.

This first piece is from my new book, It’s Not About You: Understanding Coming Out & Self-Acceptance. So much of what I’ve written here can be applied to our humanity. Courage, confidence and consistently applied to our everyday life, gay or straight, changes everything.

FROM: It’s Not About You: Understanding Coming Out & Self-Acceptance

Coming out is most likely one of the hardest and yet one of the most important things a person can do.

It takes courage to do the right thing, especially when society reinforces the lie that the heterosexual lifestyle is somehow proper for every human being. Nothing on this journey defeats a life lived honestly.

An honest life is a life lived courageously. The pressure to live a dishonest life comes at us from every direction. Living life with courage allows us to close our eyes each night and sleep in peace. Leaving behind the idolatry of acceptance sets everyone free to find the place in their heart where courage waits to be unchained.

Confidence is not easy. More often than not doubt prevails and we close the door to living with confidence. When our social surroundings encourage dependency on acceptance from others instead of self-acceptance, achieving self-confidence seems a pointless endeavor.

To live life with confidence we must first look to our own heart. The same heart we looked to in the middle of our darkest moments before coming out. Think you were the only person to feel the intense loneliness associated with self-denial? Think again. It felt like you were alone those nights when you used to wish for death rather than wake to another day. But you were never really alone. All around others traveled the same road.

That same introspection must be revisited in order to find that mark where you can begin to live a confident life.

Each day lived with confidence leads to a life lived confidently. Days become weeks and months and without notice, confidence in yourself and who you are becomes a natural part of your existence and expression.

Finding a path to living with courage, taking that courage and living with confidence paves the way to living our lives consistently.

Those who don’t understand the importance of us living life honestly should be exposed to our lives lived consistently. Hesitation on our part could cause family or friends to doubt our honesty.

Not only does living life consistently show others the courage to be ourselves, it also strengthens our resolve to live confidently.


3 Responses to “Living with courage, confidence and consistency.”

  1. 1 TPo
    May 21, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Well said! Since you approach this from a human aspect, it could just as easily be applied to non-belivers who yearn to get out of the “atheist closet.”

  2. May 21, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Agreed. So many people are closeted in so many ways. I believe the key to a peaceful life lies in the 3 C’s.

  3. May 28, 2010 at 11:46 pm

    Marc, this is so wonderful. Since figuring myself out, and coming out, about 2 months ago (in the company of a group of Humanists, no less!) I have committed myself to never being afraid again to be who I am. I was a pretty confident and authentic person before, but NOW I’m just on FIRE. We build so many cages for ourselves, and I’m determined to break all mine down. One of my favorite poems, by Marianne Williamson, includes these lines:

    ‘And as we let our own light shine,
    we unconsciously give other people
    permission to do the same.

    As we are liberated from our own fear,
    Our presence automatically liberates others.’

    That’s my motto today and everyday.


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